10 years, 9 faces, 5 months. Old me yesterday, but tomorrow's backwards. Repetition, is this your mission? Your divisions = such schisms. With my new skin for the sun to land on. And a plateau - one that I can stand on. I can see your particles tremble at the thought of this. You'd embrace it? Are you speaking honestly? // OH, PILLARS OF CREATION. UTMOST FORM OF SUCH AMAZEMENT. UPON MY BROKENNESS. I STAND BEFORE YOUR HOLINESS. OH, PILLARS OF CREATION. DANCING WITH YOUR CONSTELLATIONS. MY NEWFOUND OPENNESS. I BEG FOR TOTAL FORGIVENESS. OH, PILLARS OF CREATION. I CRY AT YOUR CONFRONTATION. // Tell me what colour you see. Can you describe it vividly? // I'm within your indigo dimension. Superstitionless after what I've witnessed. But each answer leads to four questions, am I left alone to keep guessing? Await your mulligan? Your anastasis? Under the basis of an ersatz greatness? // OH, PILLARS OF CREATION. UTMOST FORM OF SUCH AMAZEMENT. UPON MY BROKENNESS. I STAND BEFORE YOUR HOLINESS. OH, PILLARS OF CREATION. DANCING WITH YOUR CONSTELLATIONS. MY NEWFOUND OPENNESS. I BEG FOR TOTAL FORGIVENESS. OH, PILLARS OF CREATION. I CRY AT YOUR CONFRONTATION. WITH YOUR ALL-KNOWINGNESS. PLEASE PACIFY MY LONELINESS.
2. THE ABSOLUTE END OF THE WORLD
Did you feel it move? I felt a sudden, static pressure. It wriggles with verve in vectors. Bygone Troika stand as my icon. A new god, I can't be forgotten. I make seconds burn to centuries. Fuck your monuments - New age apocalypse. Hadean demon, a world eater. Will your gatekeepers stand there for eons? Burn your temples straight into your temples. Faith has fallen, stand atop your pedestals. Your empire crumbles as you stand amongst it. A dark figure grips your wrist in discomfort. // I SEE A RIFT, AND I KNOW THE TEMPTRESS. A DUST TONGUE; MILLENNIUM UNMENTIONED. HALF-SCORE SINCE A VIOLENCE STIRRED IN THE WOMB OF THIS PLANET AND A SENTENCE WAS BIRTHED. NOT THE COLD OR THE TERROR OF DUSK. BUT THE EERIEST LURE OF THE DEATHLIEST LUST. SO, DO YOU FEEL THE IMPENDING TEMPEST? NOW TREMBLE IN AWE AS YOU BEHOLD OUR CONQUEST. // Our Sun is extinguished. One final signal leaves Sol as it collapses. My Suns are extinguished. One final signal leaves a soul as it collapses.
I fucking hate your basic style of suicide. Zero-sum game, you're the only one to blame. I said I fear a lonely death but my death to loneliness is my only fear, I said. Blank apology - I would love to borrow three. But can I trust these cunts when I tell them 'promise me?' Such a fucking waste of time and space and air and taste and care and face and hate. // I'm just binary, just strings, just atoms, just pixels. So violently, ears ring, relaxing, I miss this. Go quietly, listen, I've captured the witness. Non-silently, it begins, old masters, new systems. // It seems so abstract how you don't believe me. Minute after minute I still get that feeling. It seems so abstract how you don't believe me. Minute after minute I still get that feeling. // CLIMB, CLOSE YOUR EYES, STAY CALM. EVER SINCE I'VE BEEN A FAILURE. EVER SINCE I'VE BEEN YOUR FAILURE. // Mental issues leave its scar tissues. As my theorems turn to deliriums. It's not a case of this or that or how or when or where or why or what or who. Counting backwards, when will I reach negative? Here's my confessions and don't redact the expletives. Not enough time is left - I'm blind and deaf and 50 seconds till I'm dead. // I'll never be a cunting failure. I'll never be your cunting failure.
Pain. // I'm unapologetic. I am the Earth and everything; I'm omnipresent. Pain - I am a cancer. You will find the answer nowhere where you stand for. // PAIN FOR THE CHILDREN YOU'VE RAISED TOWARDS THE CEILING WITH THEIR HEADS ON BACKWARDS AND FAITH IS GONE MISSING. PAIN FOR THE CHILDREN. PAIN FOR THE CHILDREN. // There's light inside. // I am not the idol. I represent the negative of everything. Pain - I am emotion. You will find devotion nowhere where you're hoping. // PAIN FOR THE CHILDREN YOU'VE RAISED TOWARDS THE CEILING WITH THEIR HEADS ON BACKWARDS AND FAITH IS GONE MISSING. PAIN FOR THE CHILDREN. PAIN FOR THE CHILDREN. // There's light inside.
5. ET CETERA!
Forget - You have no colours left. I redshift error reset. Fuck your non-Mongkuts. I give up, don't wake up. Opposite's obvious. Aposiopesis— [Digital] panic! I can't understand it. And the rest of some things. Petrichor, I wonder? Karma-chaotic, DNA's hypnotic. Death to the rape of me. What's left to take from me? // Pitch black city. I'm so fucking cold. Did you dig this hole that I find myself in now? I'm sick of trying. Living's lying I'm finally giving up. // Infinity - my second time counting. Something then brain blank. (on and on and on and on and) // &c., &c. YOU KEEP PUSHING ME OFF OF YOUR BOUNDLESS SHAPE. &c., &c. STUPID CUNT, I FUCKED IT UP, YOU DON'T LOOK AT ME. AMPERSAND, AMPERSAND. YOU KEEP PUSHING ME OFF OF YOUR BOUNDLESS SHAPE. &c., &c. MAKE IT STOP, HELP ME GOD, YOU DON'T LOOK AT ME